I Ain't Do Shit

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Tura Satana as Varla in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965, dir. Russ Meyer)

via Big Bosoms & Square Jaws:The Biography of Russ Meyer by Jimmy McDonough:

“She knew how to handle herself,” said Meyer. “Don’t fuck with her! And if you have to fuck her, do it well! She might turn on you!”

In fact, the right for intercourse was Satana & Meyer’s first battle. Once shooting was about to begin out in the desert, Meyer informed her of his production code: no connubial bliss.

“I can’t do that,” said Satana matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean, you can’t do that?” barked Meyer.

“You better find somebody else, because I need it every day, and if I don’t get it I get very cranky. If you want me to give you a good performance, I need to be relaxed. And that relaxes me.”

“I knew she had me by the balls, because I couldn’t very well discharge her,” RM moaned later. He relented to Miss Satana, and it wouldn’t be the last time.

But, Meyer had to ask, just who was going to fill her need way out here in the desert?

“Not you,” she shot back. “You’re the director and you’re the producer. I’ll find somebody, even if I have to pull a gas jockey somewhere.” She settled for the assistant cameraman. “Gil Haimson was my stud,” she recalled, laughing. Meyer made her swear not to reveal to anyone else what she was getting away with.

Haimson blushed when asked to confirm. “I didn’t conquer Tura. I was set up!” he blurted out. “Tura came on to me. I said, Russ’ll have a fit!”

Gil had no idea that RM was in on the deal until decades later. “I went over to see Russ and said, “I’ve got to apologize for something.” When Haimson confessed, Meyer started howling with laughter. “You son of a bitch! You were set up, Gil!” Satana was one of the mighty few who ignored Meyer’s no sex decree, and she always felt that RM was a little miffed she didn’t choose him for a roll in the hay.

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